Friday, 3 February 2017

What's going on?

It's like that feeling most often attributed to Mondays and getting back to work. The sudden increase in heaviness and utter exhaustion hits and simply moving seems a Herculean task. I'm home from my holidays over 9 days ago and still.. I simply can't.

I can't stop sleeping all the time; fearing the housework that is being neglected; worrying that the dog needs more playtime from me. I can't stop feeling so empty and depressed, uninterested in life and just wishing I could hide until it's all over.


Plus, the world has become a scary, unstable place to match that which is in my head. My mental health has had a referendum and decided to truly co-ordinate and gang up against - trample any good thought or feeling I may hope to have. It's a nightmare of depression, anxiety, panic attacks and utter confusion all day, everyday.



Toby - Carrie Gault

Sorry friends. I have stories and many glorious scenes to share with you from our wee trip to Tenerife. Toby is delightful and I must update you. Plus the snowdrops are still coming out and though no hope has been felt in their white flowers this time (and the fact that the patch is spreading), there are many things planned for this spring that I ought to be excited about.

I'm still here, still fighting and will write soon.


It's going to be OK, right?
C x

14 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to read that you're not feeling too good. I'm sure that the time of year and weather don't help. Nor does the crazy world which has made everyone a bit edgy and uncertain.
    Look forward to spring when we can get back on our allotments and in our gardens, that has to be worth looking forward to.
    Take care, and hugs, Flighty xx

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    1. Flighty, you're the loveliest. Thank you and all those seeds you sent me will bring cheer, I'm sure xx

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  2. It is going to be okay. Everything is cattywhompus and the scary bits can easily run rampant in my mind. But little bits of beauty & grace and each day, putting one foot in front of the other (even if only to the kitchen), is still moving forward. Big hugs! xoxo Chels

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    1. Thank you! That's how I try to think, always moving forward no matter how hard. Plus honouring where I am everyday and how it changes and that's ok. GRACE is the word xxxx

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  3. Hold on Carrie - this too will pass and think on your memories of warmth and holidays

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    1. Thank you so much Mary. Photos are so important to remind me I have had adventures and there is beauty in the world. xx

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    1. I neverly got 'this too shall pass' tattooed on my wrist. I need that reminder, thank you xxx

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  5. It will definitely be OK. As for housework it's not something worth worrying about. Your target should be to play with Toby. If that is too muchat the moment start with lots of fuddles.

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    1. Oh he is getting so many cuddles! Thank you for your words Sue xxx

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  6. Ah, Carrie. You've been on this roller coaster before and I do hope you'll hang in there until you're through the dark days. That darling Toby will help. Spring will help. Your wonderful Andrew, too. And soon as you're up to it, you know we want to hear all about Tenerife! Many hugs, friend.

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  7. It IS going to be OK, it really is. All the scary stuff in the news is the newsworthy stuff that sells papers and airtime. Have you noticed the hundreds of thousands of good people protesting and standing up to speak against the bad stuff. I have been astonished lately how many good, loving people there are all over the world. It's easy to forget. So leave the exterior scary stuff to others and remember how lovely your own personal little bit of the universe is. Spring is on its way - hold on. Lynda xxxxx

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